Greenpeace Leaves Skidmark

MANILA, Philippines (UP) -- In the ultimate irony, Greenpeace advocates slam their Greenpeace flagship, Rainbow Warrior II, into a protected coral reef while touring the Asian coastline on an 'energy revolution' tour.

The Coral Reef that Greenpeace Slammed into, is part of a world heritage site in the southern Philippines. Apparently Greenpeace advocates were too busy screaming at local fishermen through bullhorns to notice the MASSIVE CORAL REEF just feet below the crystal clear surface of the water.

Apparently Greenpeace does not appreciate the fact that these dirt-poor Philippine fishermen were fishing in the protected area where they also live. I hope that running their 100 foot boat into the local reef helped Greenpeace make their point.

Of course, Greenpeace cannot be held responsible, they bribed local authorities with $7000 cash and officially blamed the whole thing on out of date maps and a drunk captain. Since the Captain is a volunteer he cannot be fired, but we have word that he has returned to his regular job as the lead Galley cook and the Greenpeace crew has handed the helm over to the ships senior Deck Swab. According to Greenpeace crew member Dusty Willows "...he couldn't do any worse than River (the Galley Cook/Previous Captain)..."

Apparently the $7000 will go to throw a large party for the local government, since "It's not like you can just go out and buy more coral" says Yom Shippunah, a local politician.

Reported By:

Michael Valiant