Darwin is WRONG - At least in Kansas

Topeka, Kansas (UP) -- I drove through Kansas once; and it will be the last time that happens. I was in Colorado and needed to get to Missouri, next time I will take the longer route through Nebraska.

At the time, it was August and so hot that my tires were sticking to the road if I stopped for too long, fortunately there was no where worth stopping in Kansas. Hour after Hour I drove down the longest, flattest road I have ever seen with nothing to look at. At one point I became very excited to see a hill, which turned out to be an overpass.

Besides that overpass, there was nothing but farmers fields; hardly a tree in sight. And all the livestock I saw was crowded in behind the huge road-signs for shade. Trust me, this is a funny sight, a great big wide open field, with 150 cattle packed tighter than a Japanese Subway Tube around a 20X20 patch of shade.

I am giving you this information to illustrate what the state of Kansas does to your mind. It plays tricks... It messes with you... just look at 'The Wizard of OZ'!

Now, the Kansas State board of Mis-Education has revisited a topic that brought them ridicule 6 years ago; they have approved new science standards that encourage teachers to refute Darwin's theory of Evolution in favour of Intelligent Design (a fancy name and new spin for 'Creation Theory').

Intelligent Design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by some kind of higher force and the new science class material teaches students that Charles Darwin’s theory is “not a fact” and has inexplicable “gaps.” It seems that Intelligent Design subscribers ignore the fact that the Intelligent Design theory is so full of holes you could strain pasta with it.

“This is a sad day. We're becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that,” said board member Janet Waugh, a Democrat. And she is absolutely correct.

While the state still requires students to learn major evolutionary concepts, the new standards declare that Darwin's theories are inherently flawed and that recent fossil evidence and advances in molecular biology support this.


Board member John Uradinky (shown to the left) was good enough to sit down with us and explain why Darwin was wrong. Apparently new fossil evidence was discovered of an Angel who was helping God create a man but became trapped in an oil pit in the process was found in southern Kansas. This proves conclusively that God created Man AS-IS.

Now that the Kansas Board of Education has finally dealt with Evolution, they will now be attacking electricity as an abomination in the eyes of God and Gravity as a trick of the Devil.

On the bright side of this, Board members have a proven that HIV does NOT cause AIDs, and sex does not produce babies (only God has creation power after all).

It appears that Kansas will be leading the charge back to the Dark Ages where everybody was happy and warm and people were nicer.